As a father, I am very concerned and therefore I take a very active role in sharpening my children’s life skill tools to help increase their chances of successfully navigating through this crazy and unpredictable thing called life. I show them the rewards having good character can bring. I enable them to develop their drive and increase their tenacity for success by helping them identify their passions and interest in life. I also help strengthen their faith in God by talking and praying with them. Now, in my household growing up, that’s where my mother stopped with the life lessons. I was never taught or shown the proper way of financial management, which is very essential so I did not understand or respect the value of money.
Last night as with every Friday night, my wife and daughters had their girl’s night out, which involves dinner, a movie, and a sleepover (in my room). While my wife and I sat on the couch looking at our daughters stretched out so comfortably on our bed you would think it was theirs, my wife grabbed my hand and said, “They are so blessed to have you!” I smiled back at her, gave her a kiss and responded, “Not as blessed as I am to have them! When the show we were watching came back on, my wife turned to watch it as I kept staring at my girls and thought to myself, “Lord, I pray they don’t marry a guy like I used to be!”
Not for anything other than the fact that I was so reckless when it came to handling my finances, that everyday for over 12 years I woke up stressed, depressed, sad, detached, and jaded. And as a father I would never want my children to be subjected to those hardships. Here are 5 bad financial habits I had that made me walk around like a zombie from the despair it caused on my life.
1. I bought everything on credit
When I saw something I wanted, I went ahead and bought it even though I did not have the money. In my mind, there was no reason for delayed gratification when I had a credit card. Instead of living that way, what I should have done was bought only the things I saved up for. Instead of purchasing the items impulsively, I should have given myself a waiting period to decide if the purchases were really necessary.
2. I depended on others to bail me out
One practice that has unfortunately been carried on from generation to generation in my family is the reliance on other family members or friends to bail us out of any financial hole we dug for ourselves. When I attended college I somehow was able to finance a car that I did not need, all because I thought it was the cool thing to do but the worse part is that not only did I not have a job to pay the monthly payment, it was against the rules for me to get a job because I was on a full-athletic scholarship. I grew up watching my mother do the same thing when it came to others financing her lifestyle, and just perpetuated the bad example she set by repeating it myself. So, to my old college friends that wondered why my production on the court went down so drastically my senior year, I was stressed and could not focus on anything other than dodging the many collection calls I received daily. If you find yourself in a similar situation remember, your children will notice your reliance on others and grow up thinking it’s okay. Set up an emergency fund so that if a major negative event happens, you’ll be ready for it. Save at least 3-6 months of living expenses and always plan for the worse case scenario.
3. I always spent more than I made
It never mattered how much I made, because I always found my money ran out before the end of the month. I did not have an income problem, I had a spending problem. Every time I got a raise or promotion, instead of saving I just spent more money causing me to become disgruntled with my job because I was not making enough to sustain my lavish lifestyle. After years of hardship, I developed a plan to get back to the basics. I focused on spending less by cutting out the things I did not need. If you find yourself in a similar situation I advise you to change course, before your kids grow up thinking it’s normal to spend even when the money is not there. That mindset could only lead to financial catastrophe for you and them.
4. I never planned ahead
I got so caught up in my day-to-day stresses of trying to get out of the financial bind I created for myself that I did not allow myself to create a financial plan. With no budget, savings, or retirement goals for myself, my finances and life became disorganized. If you find yourself in a similar situation and don’t correct it, your kids will sense when your house of cards start to crumble. It’s important to set up a family budget, teach your children about money and make sure you have a complete financial plan in place including insurance and health care coverage.
5. I believed that material things and money would bring me happiness
I conditioned myself to believe that purchasing the next gadget ,car, or suit would allow me to finally experience the happiness that I’d longed for all of my life. I soon realized that while my possessions were increasing so was my debt. However, what did not increase was my happiness. Eventually, I learned first hand that the old saying was not true about, the man who has the most toys wins. They just have more bills. As a parent we should teach our children the importance of finding happiness in their faith, family, friends and in solid financial management. You should also stress the fact that money and material possessions cannot bring happiness in and of themselves, true happiness lies elsewhere.
Like me, many of you never learned sound financial management from your parents so I know how difficult it could be to break out of the vicious cycle of financial nonchalance long enough to teach your children the solid financial principles they need. Like my children, your kids are sponges and pick up all of your habits financially (Good and Bad) and could develop the same bad financial habits you have without even realizing it.
For children, actions speak louder than words so everyday dedicate yourself to being a Great example for them to follow. Remember, everyone makes mistakes in life but the key is to learn from them, so don’t be so hard on yourself.
I changed my reckless ways, and now focus everyday on being a great example of a man to all of my children and you can do the same.
Join my movement, end the vicious cycle of financial illiteracy!
Signed Bruce Wayne (And yes this is my real name!)